Me and my van

Me and my van
Faro Island

Sunday, 15 July 2018

Friday 13th July - Starting the summer holidays

What a day to start the first day of my summer holidays, Friday the 13th!

I’ve been unusually organised this year, as have been packing the van all week, so I had very little left to do, go to ATM, go to school, leave school, drop late b’day pressies at my Aunts, get spare van key (long story), go home, clean spare room after Airbnb guests, put frozen stuff in the van, put dog in the van, drop off cash and then leave NO later than 12:30pm.

Anyway, it all started to go pear shaped at precisely 8.50am, on the way to work. I jumped out of the car to get some cash for the TV Ariel mending man, Mr Fudge (I kid you not), and stood at the ATM trying to retrieve my purse from my school bag, to no avail due to the fact that I’d not actually put my purse in to my school bag, but left it instead on the kitchen work top! Plan A was already on the rocks, so Plan B was quickly put into action, I’ll get the cash after school.

It was our last school day before the summer hols, this means kids expertly pretend to clean lclassrooms, clap non- stop like seals for an hour in an extended assembly and then, the bell tolls at 11:30am and we all go home!

Failing stage one of my SAS military precisioned planned day, I did manage to succeed with stage two, three, four, five and six, however back at home, stage 7 was not going so well. Clean the spare room after my last Airbnb guests was hitting a slight snag, due to the fact that all of their stuff was still IN the spare room, and they, were not! OMG!

So, I phoned them, no answer, however a phone on the floor in the spare room started to vibrating, which helped to explain the ‘no’ answer, I left a message on the Airbnb App and waited, waited, waited, WAITED, no answer. I cracked and phoned Airbnb support directly, 15 mins later after I’ve pressed every number on my phone and sung all the verses of Greensleeves, I’m finally speaking to someone, yep, I actually started to speak to another real life human being!

It’s Peter, from the USA and he REALLY wants to reach out. I hate Airbnb support, it’s like group therapy, never been mind, but it’s what I image group therapy would be like, everyone reaching out to everyone, who are already reaching out to everyone, who then all decided to reach out again, after they’ve been reaching out to all those they’ve been reaching out to. After I reach out to Peter, he thankfully agreed to try their phones too, I know this because he’s told me twice, messaged me about doing it on the App and I now see the phone on the spare room floor has started vibrating, again!

I’m desperate, it’s 12:30pmand I’d planned to leave now, at the lastest to get to the tunnel in time. So, I decided to phone the language school my guests have told me they are studying at, here the receptionist consults with the Admission’s Officer and her deputy, then the Accommodation’s Officer and her deputy and then the Teaching Director, strange, no deputy, and it seems that none of them have ever heard of either of my guests. Shit! At this point I make a mental note, that this is no-one else’s fault but my own, I signed up, under no duress, to letting complete strangers into my flat, and now, I am living with the consequences.

Ok, clear thinking is needed, I have to do something productive, so I pack up their suitcases, clean the room, stuff the vibrating phone, blank iPad, endless wires into a ruck sack, clear their stuff from the bathroom and move everything into the hall. I fill the van with the frozen food, pack my last bag in the van and put the lead on the dog, it’s now 1:30pm, I’ve still got cash to get and drop off, I’ve got to leave now!

At this point, I hear the key in my front door, hurray, my guests are back, two and a half hours hours AFTER check-out, I’m mad as hell, but I can’t stop acting ecstatic, smiling and kissing them both as they walk in. I firmly push their suitcases into their hands and I shove them both back out the door, snatching my flat keys from the girl’s hand, stage seven complete. 

I messaged Peter, who is still trying to reach out, and I pass on the good news, he’s absolutely beside himself, as you’d imagine, congratulating me, apologising for the guests, and assuring me that without ‘people like you, Kristal, Airbnb would be nothin’g, he then sends me several messages on the App telling me all this too.

I drag the dog to the van, get and drop a tenner off for Fudge and I’m now finally heading for the tunnel and the start of our Summer Tours 2018, two hours after my very, very, very, latest, latest, latest possible leaving time!